It’s a beautiful day right before Memorial Day Weekend, and I am sitting here thinking about… cupcakes.
Not for me – I haven’t had a cupcake for a very long time – but for my daughters, ages 8 and 6. They adore cupcakes.
The dilemma is this: our wonderful caregiver, who has been helping raise my kids for the past 7 years, asked me this morning if she could take the girls for frozen yogurt after school today. I said, “Yes, a small cup and skip the toppings,” since this would be a before-dinner treat. I felt pretty good about finding a happy compromise between her wish to treat them and my wish to keep it small.
I came home early to find four cupcakes from Whole Foods (not living up to its name, I might add) in the refrigerator – she’d changed her mind.
When she told me about it, I said, “Oooh… ” with a pained look that I hoped would convey, “Please reconsider this decision, I would much rather they didn’t eat those cupcakes.”
Of course, she took my “oooh” as “ok,” and now I sit here contemplating whether I should have taken a stand.
According to a handy little tool called myfitnesspal.com, a Whole Foods cupcake is 470 calories, 64 g carb (!); 8 oz of Sweet Frog Cookies & Cream frozen yogurt – the girls’ favorite – is 220 calories, 50 g carb.
Regardless of whether the difference in treats is significant, it represents the same dilemma parents face nearly every single day: how much of a fuss do I make with the (teacher, nanny, grandparent, fill-in-the-blank) who is offering my child sugery food? How aggressively do I work the other end of the equation – the child – persuading them to “save that bag of mini-oreos for later”? (Buildling up their confidence and decionmaking ability to actually refuse a treat is a longer-term goal, but for now, I count on caregivers to help children make good decisions.)
And a further question for parents with pre-diabetes or diabetes: You know the risks, better than most. Does that justify a more drastic approach with our kids?
I know there are many schools of thought on this subject – ranging from A) unrestricted access to snack foods and desserts actually promotes a healthy relationship with these foods because children don’t feel deprived and the foods quickly lose their appeal; to B) limiting the number of treats to a certain number each week teaches them healthy eating patterns; to C) there is too much unhealthy food in the world and the least I can do is keep my home free of it; the kids will get plenty at school, birthday parties, etc.
Option A has never convinced me, though I know plenty of folks who say that’s how they grew up and they turned out fine. I don’t buy that kids grow weary of snack foods because manufacturers design them be so addictive. My children are awash in goldfish crackers (from school and other venues), but they’ve never yet turned them down. I also don’t want lots of snacks and treats around the house because I live here, too!
Initially, we tried option B, but that got harder and harder to sustain. What “counts” as a treat? How many pieces of Easter of Halloween candy? It also required a lot more tracking on my end – how many birthday parties or other treat occasions do we have this week? School was a complete black hole. After dinner and dessert at home, it might come out that my kindergartner had Fruit Loops and Cocoa Puffs for “snack time” that day, or that someone had brought cupcakes to tennis practice. It also seemed to put way too much focus on who was eating what, when.
As a result, I’m leaning more and more towards option C. There are so many occasions for treats in our society that the girls will never feel deprived. They are welcome to share my 90% dark chocolate (and my 8-year-old loves it) but otherwise, treats are eaten outside the home.
A book that really helped me think through these issues is “It’s Not About the Broccoli” by Dina Rose. I especially recommend it to parents of very young children (the earlier you start with some of the suggested techniques, the better).
Dealing with the treat-pushers outside the home is a topic for another day… right now, I’m thinking about how to have a long-overdue conversation with our caregiver about eating habits for the girls. We’ve had these before, but I’ve never talked to her directly about the risks of diabetes for my children. We’ve never sat down and brainstormed low-carb meal options. There are also a lot of things I’ve let slide – like the cupcakes today – because I’m able to rationalize that it’s “just this once” and I don’t want to make a big deal out of it.
The thing is, their health IS a big deal. Perhaps the most important responsibility of my life. So yes, I need to make a fuss, if necessary.
I would love to hear how others are combatting the deluge of treats and helping their kids learn healthy eating habits!